Baby Names

Funny Baby Quotes


Baby Names

Funny Baby Quotes 

Take a couple of minutes to check out some Funny Quotes! If you are already a parent then some will sound familiar - if you are not they are certain to bring a smile to your face.

Have a break and a laugh with our selection of Funny Baby Quotes!

Funny Baby Quotes

"A baby's a full time job for three adults. Nobody tells you that when you’re pregnant, or you’d probably jump off a bridge. Nobody tells you how all-consuming it is to be a mother—how reading goes out the window and thinking too." ~ Erica Jong quote

"A baby is a blank cheque made payable to the human race." ~ Barbara Christine Seifert quote

Funny Baby Quotes

"Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last." ~ Charles Dickens quote

"Making the decision to have a child--It's momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." ~ Elizabeth Stone quote 

"If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?" ~ Milton Berle quote

"I don't know why they say "you have a baby." The baby has you." ~ Gallagher

"Parenthood: The state of being better chaperoned than you were before marriage." ~ Marcelene Cox

"Before I got married, I had six theories about bringing up children. Now, I have six children and no theories." ~ John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester quote

"A child is a curly, dimpled lunatic." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson quote

Funny Baby Quotes

"You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance." ~ Franklin P. Jones quote 

"A baby's an inestimable blessing and bother." ~ Mark Twain quote 

"Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare." ~ Ed Asner quote

"A three year old child is a being who gets almost as much fun out of a fifty-six dollar set of swings as it does out of finding a small green worm." ~ Bill Vaughan quote

"If your baby's "beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time," you're the grandma." ~ Theresa Bloomingdale

"People who say they sleep like babies usually don't have them." ~ Leo J. Burke quote

"Human beings are the only creatures on Earth that allow their children to come back home." ~ Bill Cosby quote

Funny Baby Quotes

"A loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other." ~ Ronald Knox quote

"There are only two things a child will share willingly - communicable diseases and his mother's age." ~ ~ Dr. Benjamin Spock quote

"It sometimes happens, even in the best of families, that a baby is born. This is not necessarily cause for alarm. The important thing is to keep your wits about you and borrow some money." ~ Elinor Goulding Smith quote

"The worst feature of a new baby is its mother's singing." ~ Kin Hubbard quote

"A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest." ~ Irish Proverb

"Diaper backward spells repaid. Think about it." ~ Marshall McLuhan

"A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be." ~ Anon

"The hardest job facing kids today is learning good manners without seeing any." ~ Fred Astaire

"I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it." ~ Harry S Truman 

"Small children disturb your sleep, big children your life." ~ Yiddish proverb

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